How to Land a Publisher (in 7 simple steps)
- Write what you’d like to read (not what you think they’ll publish).
- Submit your poems to POETRY magazine at least once a year, even though your poems are rejected every single time. Do this out of respect because you also read POETRY magazine. Continue for 15 years.
- Read and submit to other journals likewise. Same timeline.
- Repeat steps two and three but with different results.
- Using your published poems alone and without contacting one yourself, inspire a major author (preferably Sherman Alexie) to introduce himself via email, flatter you obsequiously, and offer to get you the attention of an editor at a publishing house (preferably W. W. Norton & Co.).
- Book contracts are best paired with beer.
- Repeat steps one and four indefinitely.
Note: Results may vary. Tastes are subjective. Timelines may differ. Beer selection process may begin prior to receipt of contract.









